David Colley - cultural jongleur ©™

Lucifer refuses to accept LibDems!

dafydd — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 21:58:42 +0000

Satan today made a surprise announcement today, rejecting Nick Clegg and his whole party from enjoying the flames and eternal torture in the underworld. Its follows the House of Lords recent vote, passing draconian measures to take away benefits from disabled people. In a flaming rage, he shouted: “LIke hell, do I want a bunch of sodding liberals in Hades!”

When pressed, however, he did accept that they were legally entitled to enter given their track record in Government.

Satan in a rage over wishy washy people doing really evil things.

If we’re all in this together, will Clegg be selling his arse too?

dafydd — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 21:23:18 +0000

A new twist has happened in euro government claims that austerity measures are a justification for even the most draconian policies and welfare cuts.

The Telegraph reports this weekend that jobseekers in Germany are being told they’ll have their benefits cut if they don’t take jobs as strippers or prostitutes. Click the link here for the original article.

So… given we’re “all in this together”, does this mean Nick Clegg will be bending over and selling his arse to help out the recession? Or, has he already effectively done so, by sitting on Cameron’s lap with the speed of a pole dancer on minimum wage?

President Bush giving lessons on how to treat big business

Tories to bring back hunting with dogs

dafydd — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 14:24:16 +0000

Jim Paice, Agriculture Minister, has announced that the Hunting Act (which bans hunting with dogs) is spoiling people’s weekend enjoyment, and should be repealed. This would leave it clear for the aristocracy (including rich bankers) to hunt down pesky disabled people with hounds.

Paralympic athletes are double points.

Ironically, if you're fit enough to lose your ATOS assessment, you might be fit enough to escape

Click here for the BBC story.

Is Cleggie telling porkies again?

dafydd — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 20:32:29 +0000

I see Nick Clegg is now promising a clampdown on boardroom pay. But hold dear readers, only a year and a half ago he promised the same with banker bonuses but nothing happened.

Here’s a link to a news article at the time..

Can we be confident its really hair?

dafydd — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 09:09:17 +0000

I think the lack of confidence in the Euro markets is in some part due to Silvio Berlusconi’s insistence on spraying his balding head with Fake Hair In A Can. Its only natural an economic reticence results from such duplicity.

Silvio's Hair In A Can

Essex Teachers Tell Camp Kids They Deserve a Whacking

dafydd — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 20:08:34 +0000

I gather that teachers in Essex have taken the radical step of telling bullied kids to “butch up” so they won’t be bullied for being gay. Instead of tackling the bullies, which lets face it, can be a bit of an effort, they’ve hectored the victims of bullying cos its easier and they don’t fight back so much.

The BBC reports that teachers have advised kids to “act less gay” to avoid a beating. The full story is here.

So the message from the adults is, effectively, that effeminate kids kinda deserve their beating.

I think the teachers should be caned mercilessly for this kinda offensive crap. But I’m old fashioned that way.

No. Really. its Fine

dafydd — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 18:40:09 +0000

“Greece. Honey. Sweetheart. You know those billions we lent you? Tell you what. Just have half of that for free. No, don’t thank us. Really, its fine. We’ll just take it from our poor and disabled. No problem. Just trying to help (our bankers).

Yes, we're all in this together, aren't we?

Are ALL lesbian bloggers really straight white men?

dafydd — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 11:08:47 +0000

Breaking news: yet another ‘lesbian’ blogger is in fact a hairy-assed man! Shock!

Last week the real voice behind Gay Girl in Damascus blog was revealed as Tom McMaster, an american living Scotland.

A real lesbian

Hairy bearded non-lesbian

Now yet another lesbo blogger has come out as…. a white guy! Bill Graber, 58, a US Air Force veteran, has admitted he’s one of the editors of the LezGetReal lesbian blog, posing as “Paula Brooks”.

What’s going on?! Why the festish for dressing up your blogs as a dyke? Does it give it more gravitas? Do people take you more seriously if you’re a muff-diver? Are the authorities and the church more afraid of the written word if it comes from on high? (Cos we all know lesbians are closer to God)

Answers on a postcard please. But only from REAL lesbians if you don’t mind, sir!

Lesbian Imposter.

A real lesbian

Emmerdale wants us dead – its official!

dafydd — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 11:08:06 +0000

So who else saw the latest storyline on Emmerdale where both gay and disabled stereotypes were flashed around like dirty underwear at a stag night?

God forbid a gay couple should have a happy ending. God forbid someone with tetraplegia should go on to to cope and have a fulfilling life. Clearly the idea of a positive gay AND disabled role model was too too much for soap opera world.

: Jackson gulping his last milkshake while Pauline fiddles with herself

So assisted suicide it was then. Thanks for invalidating my world Emmerdale.

And hadn’t he suffered enough without being imprisoned in Pauline Quirke’s ample cleavage?

Pauline Quirke burying a gayer in her boobies

Tragic But Brave stereotypes – when will they ever die?

dafydd — Sat, 16 May 2009 11:48:05 +0000

While the Tories are whisking away all support for disabled people, and labelling us all scroungers, its heartening to see the BBC’s incisive reporting at work. Their most popular disability-related post?

“Stuntman Eddie Kidd finishes London Marathon”

Hold on! I'm coming!

Yeah, great. It took him two months. His wife’s comment? “”If there’s anyone out there that is disabled, or injured or sick, get some inspiration from this and don’t give up.” Er, its not inspiration we need, chuck, its the welfare state putting back.

The London Evening Standard’s title was even worse:

“The courage of Kidd: Eddie is still running the Marathon”

At no point did Eddie actually break into a run. It’d take someone in an electric wheelchair less than a day. His wife described it apparently as ‘his greatest feat yet’.

Lets hope he doesn’t try to get to work this way, once his ATOS assessment forces him back into work. To be fair, I could have lived with the reporting until I saw the quote from his wife.